The Ignorant Little Dreamer, I am

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from www.spoonflower.com

After my first writing accomplishments, I didn’t do much writing at all. I could give excuses about my health, but the truth is I could have tried a lot harder. As I look over yesterday’s to do list I’m pleased and dismayed. I missed telling someone important I pushed myself to leave home and got a few chores done despite being sleep deprived and I missed telling someone important ‘Happy birthday’ in addition to not doing any work on the biggest project I’ve had before me for the last year. I will be completing yesterday’s list today despite my lateness. But what I really want to share with you was something more closely related to the journey I’m on.

I’ve made it known to many, “I want to write textbooks and research papers”, and I’ve gotten the ball rolling by looking up the credentials I need, and I’ve set the goal of obtaining my doctorate. It’s a long road, ladies and gents, I’m just beginning my third year into my bachelor’s program. The unfortunate bit though is that my viewing this as a long road has made me only look so far. I’ve never tried to look at the details. But yesterday I was forced to.

In yesterday’s post I mentioned the possibilities that Tomsk State University hold as a research university and my not grabbing this opportunity. Last night I pinched at it, and it gave. As I sat with a friend (Supreet) who’s just obtained his Ph.D about life and his returning home to India. I decided to ask him what he thought of my plans. And he showed me how half-baked my idea was.

The Idea

I’m working on my bachelor’s in journalism, which should have actually have been literature. But you know that story. And my plan is to focus on Korean Literature for my Master’s in Korea, and English Literature for my Doctorate in England. These academic ventures would leave me with a thorough understanding of different types of literature, people, and cultures allowing me to write in a way that is inclusive of diverse audiences, and in a way that entertains while it informs. That’s m goal: entertain and inform, or rather inform and entertain. After studying my focus would then become Caribbean History, and also the effects of abuse on society as it relates to individuals and groups of people.

Now, as I’ve been writing this the sheer stupidity of it has hit me in how unattached the foci mentioned here are. But I didn’t see, or maybe I just ran over that gap before last night.

Last Night

“And who would hire you?” Supreet asked matter-of-factly.

But I couldn’t see the matter-of-fact bit so stupidly I reply with “What do you mean?” and aptly he explained.

It’s amazing to me just how…I don’t want to say ‘stupid’…but it’s the only word ringing in my mind so we’ll go with it…stupid I am. I don’t know how I’ve been living this fairytale so long, but I’ve been living it, and I’ve been living it well. But the good thing is, the great thing is, that I’ve found out in time. And so my next steps are to ensure that I understand where I need to be. Without much thought you and I (now) have realized that I’m going to need two specialties, or maybe three because I exist in fairytale land and I reallly want to go to and study in Korea. Caribbean History would require that I go to the heart, my home and to the most prestigious university there, the University of the West Indies. It’s a great university and there I would be learning from some of our well-versed historians. Nice and simple that was, eh? But I couldn’t figure out that was where I need to be before. I’m really brilliant, by the way, I feel I need to say it after such audacious ignorance.

So one degree assessed…I have no idea where I should do my research for the social effects of abuse of the man and society, But I don’t really think it’s in Korea. WHat’s Korea got to do with anything? Nothing…really, except that I’m fascinated by a people who in such a relatively short time rose to the heights at which they exist today. That takes a special type of mentality I believe and that is what I want to understand and possibly adapt, and share. So it is imperative that I go there. I had it all planned out…or I thought so. I’m still going there, just so you know.

But Supreet also had something to add on this bit. He too had chosen Korea as a tentative place of study. What deterred him was the need to write his thesis in Korean. If you’re thinking that’s not a big deal you probably either already speak the language or have an extremely limited knowledge of it. I studied it for two years. and I’m still at the beginner’s level. A simple compound sentence confuses me. (Also take into consideration that I’m not that smart, reference above.) So I’ve got some thinking to do. Of course, he added that the university would require that one learns the language for two or three years. But I like my written work, and work at that standard to be perfect. I’m not going to write something that’s not equal part beauty and intellect. See yesterday’s post (Continuing the Journey) for a better understanding of the problem. Do you understand my dilemma(s)?

I’ve got to get my day started so I’m off to do other chores and begin writing when I get back. See you tomorrow…

Don’t wish me luck. What I need is less ignorance. Wish me that. And if you have any useful advice, I’m open.

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